If the Devil Took Over a City...

What would it look like if Satan took over a city?
It's an interesting question, and one that we shouldn't answer too quickly. It's not a question you sit and wrestle with in a theology class or in a small group. But it is an interesting question; one that I believe is essential to what we term "good" and what we term "evil".

What would be the characteristics of a society of people if the Devil had absolute control over it? How would the people act? What would be the new social norm? What would happen to churches and Christians? What would it look like?

If we're honest with each other, we would think very quickly and rush with our answer. It seems like a very simple question. We all have a great picture of what that would look like immediately come to mind.

Would it look like a much more open Las Vegas? A literal sin city? Would murder and abortion not just be legal across the board at will, but also government funded and encouraged? Would there be war? Would there be raping and fighting? Would all illicit drugs be legal and sold in vending machines? Would marriage be thrown under the Bus of Society and go dishonored? Would sex be public? Would pornography be on every channel? Would there be thefts and suicides every minute? Would homosexuality be encouraged publicly? Would everyone swear and make obscene gestures?

What of the churches? We would be forced underground, right? Would Christianity be illegal? Would our churches become brothels? Would we have to hide? Would pastors be outlaws? Would the government ban them from preaching? Would they be forced to marry homosexuals or be fined? Would we lose our tax exempt status? Would we be tortured, wounded, stolen from, beaten, mocked, locked up, or killed? Isn't that a clear picture of what life in Satanville would be?

No.

That is much too graphic, too intense to be a picture of the city in the full sway of the Devil. It is too much. It isn't deceptive enough. It would scare us too easily. The people would rise up and revolt before anything got out of hand. I fully believe people are totally depraved. But depravity isn't just total; it's also cunning. The beautiful about Satan and our depravity is that it's deceptive. It lies. It is not that I am sinful, only a sociopath feels no remorse for murder or rape. The issue with depravity, the way that it kills most is that it convinces me that my sin is really a good, "Christian" action.

Instead I think a society controlled by Satan would look much more like this:

I think the homosexuality, pornography, and abortion would all be outlawed by the government. I think jails would be essentially empty. Bars, nightclubs, strip joints, drug dealers, gangbangers, would all be a thing of the past. I believe that all religions other than Christianity would be outlawed. I believe that all the children in the city would say "Yes ma'am" and "No sir". We would have neat and tidy streets where everyone smiled and waved.

The Church would have voted all these ways in a long time ago. All of our politicians would fight for the banners and fanfares to God. Everyone would be a Christian. There would be no other option. If the Devil took over a city, every church, across the land would be packed in shoulder to shoulder, we would sings our hymns loud and our preachers would tell us how we all need to keep voting in good men and women who love Jesus so that we wouldn't see the loss of society. They would slam drinking, and Liberalism, and Muslims, and people would say, "Amen" and "Praise God". And we would have no doubts that God was smiling down on us, all the while people by the pew fulls never hear the Gospel, and slide into hell. It would be Christendom, it would be beautiful, and it would kill us all spiritually.

The more that I hear the modern Evangelical talk, the more I see what some pastors tweet or post on social media, the more I listen to how Christians would have society, the more I realize that we love Christendom, not Christ.

By Christendom I mean a society that is essentially Christianized. I mean a society in which we have achieved a moral upright society through the voting booth and not through evangelism. I mean a society in which the Religious Right would have at the end of the day. I mean the Falwell/Roberson utopia, where everyone loves Christ if they like it or not.

This is a society we want as Christians. I'm not saying we shouldn't use the Bible for our moral compass. I'm not saying we shouldn't vote or vote for those whose proposed values lie closely to Scripture. I'm certainly not saying we shouldn't advocate for a Christian world or for morals or that Christians shouldn't involve themselves in the political ring. If you take that away, you've missed the entire point.

What I am saying is that that society will never come through the voting booth. It never will. We will never make good Christians through the ballot. At best we will make wonderful, clean cut, well mannered Pharisees who believe God is pleased because they eradicated all the heinous deeds while all the while realizing that they are resting in their damnable good works. The more that I read what other people are reading, the more that I read or hear what other people are saying or thinking, I realize a major problem in the American church.

We don't think the Gospel is enough anymore.

Oh we would never say that. We would never stoop so low as to actually mumble those words. That is far too heretical for us to put into words. But it's not our words that damn us; it's our actions. That which we tweet about, read about, most. That which we fight for the hardest, that which we cling to the strongest. That is where our hope is found. We have given up the ghost on the Gospel, because the Gospel is too dangerous for us. I'm too scared to go tell my new neighbors about Jesus, so instead I'll just sit here and write this blog some more because it makes me feel good to tell you how wrong you are without dealing with all my failures. In the same vein how it's easy for you to sit there and watch Sean Hannity tell us what's wrong and how we should blame Liberals, Muslims, Hollywood, and the media, and the Taliban, and Al-Jezeera and Al Sharpton for the mess that we as a nation are in because you and I (especially me) are too afraid that the Gospel is actually going to work. Because then, as holders of that Gospel, the problem is that we're not evangelizing. The problem isn't out there with society, the problem is in here with you and I.

So, because we've given up; we must find a way to make America a nation of Christians, we fight for Christ not to reign in our hearts, but in the Oval Office. We think that God has joined a political party and everyone in that party is a Christian. We have, though we would not admit it, believe that God has changed his name to GOP. You're free to disagree; but how many pastors advocated for a Mormon president? What makes us that that a Mormon President stands for Christian values? Because he's better than Obama? Lesser of two evils? One doesn't think the Bible's infallible. How's that for Christian values? We voted for him, not because of he was a Christian, but because he was a Republican. We voted out of fear. We voted for him because we believe that God is setting up Christendom.

Jesus didn't want to be an earthly king. He refused, though the people wanted to make Him one in John 6:15. He tells Pilate that His kingdom "is not of this world". Jesus wasn't about the political. We, like Judas, want Him to be that way. But we, like Judas, miss the point. Jesus did not come to set up a physical nation, but a spiritual one defined by the Gospel.

If we want to see a Christian society, then it will start when you and I (especially I) trust in the Gospel alone to save people. It will come when we stop thinking that God needs America to be a lighthouse for God, and realize it's not about America, but it's about the Church being that lighthouse. It's not about our nationalism, it's about the proclamation of the Gospel; that Christ came to save a people for Himself by faith alone in Christ for the propitiation of our sins, by grace. That is more powerful than a vote. We need pastors and faithful members who evangelize. We need to realize that we have brothers and sisters who really know persecution, not just harassment. We should be faithful to the Gospel, more than we bellyache about the government. We are wasting our time. We're not saving anyone through a voting booth. And until we realize that, we will never impact our cities for Christ.

Oh, by the way, my neighbor is pretty cool.

SDG

Singled Out: a New Conversation on Singleness Part 2: From One Christian Who is Single to Another

Dear Christian Who is Single,

I'm sure, when you read Part 1, you felt like finally someone had verbalized exactly what you had been thinking for some time. I'm glad. That was part of my aim; to let Christians who are married in on what we think and how we feel. It's good for us to have conversations, to respark the old questions and to ask them while seeking some Biblical clarity.

It's tough being a Christian who is single. Trust me. It's hard to sit alone, or even worse, with all your married friends, and not think, "What's wrong with me? Am I not marriageable? When's it going to be my turn?" And these aren't sinful or wrong questions to ask. These aren't selfish questions; I strongly believe that it's a part of us that remained from the Fall to want companionship. We as men and women created Imago Dei, are created to work and serve in community with one another. 

"Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him....So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called Woman,

because she was taken out of Man.”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." Gen 2: 18,21-24

This is prefall. God sees that man isn't at his absolute best, and so creates woman. In that moment, they fulfilled each other. Him, her, and God were in complete fellowship together, and then and there we reached the pinnacle of where we can ever hope to reach.

I'm saying this for your joy, Christian who is single. I'm saying this to Biblically justify the longing and desire that you naturally feel for a spouse. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing sinful about the God-given longing for wanting a mate. You were created, before the fall, to find the opposite sex attractive. You were formed by God, to have a companion, for the glory of God. To not actively seek that; is to live contrary to the way your Father has formed you. It is to live as a liar. So take joy! Seek a Christ centered mate, if God has called you to do so!

But, we have to talk Christian who is single,

Because our married friends have some really good insights. They're not totally clueless. Can they perfectly relate to how we live as singles? No. But they do have their own struggles, their own concerns, and they do have some insight that we don't know about.

See, I don't think Christians who are single have it all figured out or harder than our married brothers and sisters. If I'm honest, I think we're equally ignorant; to the point that both of us envy the other because "the grass is greener."

So, Christian who is single, I have truths you need to know. These are five things that will make not only the search for a Christlike spouse easier, but maybe more enjoyable.

1. Your identity is in Christ, not your future spouse.
This is very important, because this is the cause for how we as Christians who are single talk, think, and live. It's important to remember that you are not a single Christian. It's very important (I can't emphasize it enough) that you keep this in mind. I have done my best, when I write to you to not call you "single" or "a single Christian". You identify yourself first, then describe yourself. Go back, reread this post and see how often I address people as "Christians who are single" or "Christians who are married". It's imperative we talk this way. We must be willing everyday to preach to ourselves :

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. (1 Peter 2:9-10)

Your identity is found in Christ alone, if you have come to him by faith.

The alternative is deadly. If you choose to find all of your fulfillment in man or woman, who are setting them up to fail already. They were never designed to fill that gap of identifying you. You will kill them emotionally and spiritually if you do that. You will only set yourself up for future heartache by trying to make them be what identifies you, because they will fail. At some point, it is inevitable.

2. We can't be marriage pagans.
This is tough; because if I'm honest, I'm so guilty of this. It's tough not to think that marriage is what's missing in my life for me to be who Christ made me to be. It's the real struggle that happens when we are the Last of the Unmarried. But it's incredibly dangerous for us to jump from one relationship -or one potential spouse- to another just trying to figure out who sticks. We treat each other like ends to our marriage means. This is blatant idolatry.

But what's worse is when we seek marriage more than we seek Christ. Like when I sit in the worship service at my church and all I think about is my singleness. It happens. 

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. 

But is Christ not enough for you to be satisfied in? This isn't the "Jesus is your spouse" right now line that is fed constantly. This is a press: is Christ or marriage your highest joy? I struggle with answering that honestly becasue I know my thoughts and actions betray my words. If I were honest with myself, there are days when I want to be married more than I want Christ. There are days when, if like Hosea, marriage were to be stripped away from me, would Christ be enough for me to recover? We have to ask ourselves these questions and deal with them honestly. We must remember that marriage is a picture of the Gospel that we can see. It will one day fade away. There is a day when the shadow of marriage gives way to the reality of our unity with and in Christ. We must be careful to not chase after shadows while ignoring the reality.

3. Singleness is a gift.
No really. Remember who is saying this right now. Singleness is a very beneficial thing. I have seen this or I wouldn't say it. Being single is a legitimate spiritual gift that God gives us. I know what you're thinking. "If singleness is a gift, what's the exchange policy? Not what I asked for at all."

I'm with you on this. But we need to see our singleness from a Biblical perspective. I know you're going to hate when I put this verse on here, but:

Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.               (1 Corinthians 7:6-9)

We have a problem here because we don't like these verses. It's ok to admit it. I struggle with them too. But we have to consider, how is singleness a gift? Like what's the benefit here?

First I think Paul explains clearly later on in the chapter that as singles, we aren't as anxious about pleasing a spouse. We don't have that concern. We are free to make our own decisions, our own mistakes, our own choices. Let me speak from experience. I am right now in a very unsteady place in my life. I just am. I have a direction, I have a plan, it's just the coming together of it that I'm waiting (but working) on. I honestly couldn't fathom being married right now. It's too open for me to feel comfortable leading a wife through. In the past 6 months, I've made some pretty drastic life, work, ministry, and living changes. But you know who I didn't consult with. A wife. I'm free to live and make decisions based on my desire and what I believe God's will for my life to be. Lonely as it is, it could be a lot worse.

So we must, for our spiritual health's sake, steward our singleness for the glory of God.

4. Rest in the sovereignty of God; but not as victims.
Show of hands, who's surprised I put this in here? Please, go ahead. Insert one Reformed joke here.

Seriously though, I have come to find that the sovereignty and goodness of God are the most loving things for us. Let me tell you, Christian who is single, why you remain single. It's not time yet. Those are nail-on-chalkboard words, huh? But do you really think that you are going to miss what God has planned for you? How small is your God? There's is nothing you can do to jack up this plan. It can be more painful, longer, or harder, yes. But never wrecked.

I was engaged once. (Technically I would say twice. Things were bought, I'm saying that counts in spirit). I was engaged to someone who was, if i'm honest was killing me spiritually. And God was gracious to, very painfully remove me out of that situation. It hurt. Ask those who walked with me during that time. It was hard. There were days I felt angry, betrayed, cheated on, lied to.

I finally, this week, gathered the nerve to ask my mom a question I have pondered on for a couple of years. 

Yeah, how's that for a nice dose of reality? If I could redo either of my failed attempts at marriage, I'd do neither of them. God has a woman. She is intricately and wonderfully designed. The Gospel is her beauty, and she is patient. And though I won't speak for all of you, for those whom God desires to give a wife or husband, He will in His good and perfect timing

But also, be careful that we not become sovereignty victims. I'm a Calvinist, not a fatalist. I'm not saying you should sit on your couch and wait for a Christ-centered man or woman to just show up one day. Be actively seeking and searching. But in that search, rest in the unbreakable plan of God.

5. Don't be jaded against Christians who are married.

Once again, guilty. I'll just admit that. But it's tempting to feel as if we live burdened by the weight of singleness and our married friends live in continous party land. Living with and around married couples and just watching. It's tough. They have equal concerns and frustrations. They're just as stressed as we are; maybe more. Though I do think their advice isn't the best; some of my best friends are Christians who are married. I love them, trust them, pray for them, and they do the same for me. We were made to live in a community of believers. And while, yes, we need to be engaged; community means that sometimes we approach them to spend time with us-I'm guilty- That means that sometimes (most of the time) we bite the bullet when they have lives with their significant others and we learn to spend time with other Christians who are single. 

So Christian Who is Single, my prayer for all of us is that, regardless if we ever find a spouse, we find our joy in Christ, who is the source of all hope and joy. I pray that we rest in Him and His perfect will for our lives; that this time, how ever long it is, we use to put Christ on display in our lives. 

SDG

Singled Out: A New Conversation on Singleness. Part 1: It's Not Good for Me to be Alone Either

Dear Christian Who is Married,

I know exactly what you're thinking as you clicked this link: "Here we go again on another post about singleness. It's the same old tired rhetoric that we've always heard. Let's go ahead and jump to 1st Corinthians 7." 

But stop just a second. 

Because the single person is not a second class citizen in the Covenant Community. We are people, with spiritual gifts, callings, passions, and desires for our future. We work jobs, go to class, have families, bills, and hobbies. We have fully functioning sex drives, the same as you and your spouse do. And we love Jesus; the same as you and your spouse do. Please know that. We're normal.

But if I'm honest, I've maybe grown a little calloused towards you; so forgive me. It's not right for me to be I know. It's just, I'm not sure if you realize that neither of the two schools of thought that you have for my life really are all that legit. I'm decently sure that you're heart's in the right place; but at the same time, I don't think you have a clue. 

Let me back up. Because I really want you to understand what I'm talking about when I say "the two schools of thought." There are basically two options I have as a Christian who is single. 

1. Rush to get married. Basically, this is the "biological clock, get you're act together and be 'marriage material'" approach. I'm willing to call it the sweet, old lady approach. It's the idea that we're all ticking timebombs of hormones who need to hurry up and get married so that we don't start twerking all over each other and having a whole bunch of pre-marital going on. (Until that sweet girl turns 34, and then it's baby pressure time right?) In this school of thought, I need to shape up, man up, take responsibility for my actions, get a job and a haircut so that I can finally marry the mystical, unBiblical "one".

"Is it not obvious to anyone with half a brain that human beings were not designed to delay sex for two or three decades after coming to sexual maturity?  Yet we have Christians not blinking an eye at full-grown adult singles waiting until age 35 to marry for the first time, because that was just God’s perfect plan or whatever....If Christians are really serious about changing the culture for the better, then they need to get serious about promoting young marriage and stop telling singles (either explicitly or implicitly) that they have a long time to find someone and it’s better to go off and have adventures while they figure out who they are.  And they also need to stop telling people that the 20s are a “season” in which you can work on yourself to become closer to God and therefore marriage-worthy or whatever." (Haley's Halo, Wordpress.com)

So I should rush to find someone? Anyone? So should I be more concerned about being able to have all the endless sex I want, or the fact that I'm in God's pleasing and perfect will? So I'm sorry Camp 1; but you're rushing me to achieve marriage status isn't helping me. Because all it tell's me is that I'm a screw up who can't seem to get it together, but you've somehow "arrived" with your helpmeet. 

2. My second option is to totally completely absolutely have zero interest in dating. In fact, it is said that dating is probably wrong. There's not a verse to prove that, so let's just not do it. That dating leads people to randomly twerk on each other and start having a whole bunch of premarital. Angie Lewis has a blog  post written in 2010 called 10 Reasons Why Christians Shouldn't Date. I won't cover all ten, but I will take on two of them because I feel like they summarize Camp 2.

Dating Leads to Sex But Not Commitment

Dating most often leads to sex and then eventual heartbreak. Dating hurts young people because it is a false sense of hope that almost always leads to emotional heartache and physical impurity. With dating the risk of having sexual relations with a person you really don't know is paramount. I say risk because sex means nothing without love and commitment. Think about it. For the sincere Christian dating should be out of the question, don't you think? 

Dating Distracts People From What Really Matters 

Dating, because of its sexual and emotional intentions distracts Christian people from what is really important for them. Namely, God and preparing for their future in the Lord. They are so focused on the happenings of each other that nothing else matters to them, not even staying pure for God and marriage. It is God's will that young Christian people who are sincere in the Lord, put their feelings on hold and not allow themselves to be pressured into emotional relationships without commitment. 

But hang on a second. Is it not possible for me to spend time with a young woman and get to know her mind and discover what she's like while spending time together, with my pants on? Why is it that me spending time with a young Christian woman will 1. For sure lead to sex and 2. Lead us both to ignore God. Isn't it possible that maybe I respect her and want to see her grow in Christ, that I practice some God-given restraint? You telling me to just sit and wait doesn't help me. 

Because if I'm honest, it's not good for me to be alone either. I have a desire, like pre-fall Adam, to love and nurture a wife and children. I have, like pre-fall Adam, the need for companionship and a helper fit for me. I don't think it's sin to want to look for and find a woman who loves Jesus just as much as I do. But what you're telling me Camp 2, is that I shouldn't want marriage but it's ok that you did. That's a double standard friend.

But both camps have this idea, that I am not in control of my raging 22 year old sex drive. That as singles we just walk around sexually frustrated all the time. Let me be really honest, Christian who is married. 80% of your advice to me, regardless if it's rush or wait, sucks; and I get really sick of it. 

Here's why.

You have no idea what it's like to be single anymore. You just don't. 

Let's be honest for a minute. We'll play a game. When is the last time you:

1. Had no texts or phone calls all day.

2. Ordered a table for one for a month straight

3. Slept alone, by yourself, for a month straight.

4. Sat in absolute silence without conversation, for a day. 

5. Had to split the check awkwardly (like those two, her and him, and then me) twice in the same week?

We do that. I do that. I eat more meals alone than I do with others. And it get's really lonely. Yes I know Paul said that he preferred people not be married. Yes being a Christian who is single is a gift from God to serve without distraction. But before you start quoting me 1 Corinthians 7, how about you come sit and have lunch with me and talk to me about how wonderful Jesus is. Why don't, instead of telling me that my sex drive will kill me if I do anything at all, you ask how I'm doing? I know widows, who are single now, who are lonely too. Why don't you just ask me how I'm doing instead of giving me advice to achieve some magical "adult status"?

God has wired us as people to seek and want companionship. And it's not a sin to want it. So, Christians who are married, we aren't dysfunctional. We aren't cursed for perpetual singleness (some of us).But we are valuable members of the Body of Christ. Please, walk with me, encourage me to learn to seek a Godly woman who loves Christ. But at the same time, understand, you don't understand. And it's ok. Because we're a community of Grace, both single and married. We're in this together, not because of our status, but because of Christ. That's what unites and ignites our walk together.

SDG

The Last 36 Hours and Why I'm Not Going to Missouri

As soon as this goes public I'll be walking out my front door and driving up to Bentonville. Today I was supposed to be hauling boxes and furniture into a U-haul and driving up to become the pastorate of Antioch Baptist Church in Cassville, Missouri. That is no longer the case. In the last 48 hours I have ran the gauntlet of emotions and frustration before I could write this post. I am choosing to address it in this format to save time and let everyone know what happened. 

At around 11:45 Thursday night I received an email from the former pastor of the church where I was going to pastor. The email reads as follows.

I am not acting on behalf of the church, but it has just come to my attention from more than one source that you frequent bars.  Is that so?  If so, you should cancel your moving truck.  Also found this online (below).  I cannot personally condone the use of alcohol as a social mixer.  Lets talk.

Jay Sawrie

Tuesday via Twitter
·         Hitting the Draft after work with a pastor friend who shall remain nameless use protect his identity

I want you all to understand this; I want to be clear. There are people, right now, that believe that I frequent bars. That I drink habitually or out of control. That I go to places for the sole purpose of getting drunk. Not only this, but that this person felt that it was their duty to go and talk to the church I was going to pastor, not me. They believed that it was the best thing to go and tell the to church; to address it to them without ever coming and talking to me. I am very hurt over this. I have humbled myself to those over me (pastors, professors, parents, etc.) and have stopped trying to rebel against the system. I was wanting to work with small, traditional churches for a while to help them recover and become thriving churches, and to never even leave their association. I don't want create my own thing, I'm not trying to shove specific viewpoint onto everyone. I am doing my best to walk in grace and humility. And yet even when repentant of being rebellious through college, even after submitting myself, and desiring to work in traditional churches; there are those who would run me down. Who would disrespect me and bring up rumors about me, without even addressing me first. The former pastor at Antioch addressed it with me, which I appreciate and respect. But even then, I was absolutely blindsided by this. 

This is in a complete violation of how Christ spells out how Christians should address such matters in Matthew 18. No one came to me. No one sought me and addressed me as "brother". And had such grace filled approach happened I would have spoken peacefully and humbly. I would have considered these people's words. I'm not sure if they thought I was just an arrogant young man who wouldn't listen, but these people violated Scripture. I have been stabbed in the back, not for doctrinal or even personal reason. 

So before I discuss the rest of the last few hours, let me address these people. Now they will say, "Ah, but you are not taking your own sermon. You aren't addressing us in private, and so now we are being sinned against and it's a wash. You aren't dealing with us as 'brother'" But I don't know who y'all are. I would love to loving address you in private and explain myself and reconcile; but I don't know where to turn. So unless you come to me and speak with me in grace, this is the best I can do to offer up some sort of defense. 

I have no issue with alcohol. I have never been intoxicated in my life. I have no problem with drinking alcohol. I do not believe it is the great sin of our generation in the Bible belt. I think idolatry and legalism are. I have been to sports bars, like the Draft, and had a single beverage with my meal. One. The waiter asks if I would like another and I simply ask for water. I have not ever been publicly intoxicated. I have been to restaurants in Conway, that serve alcohol. Chili's, El Parian, Wild Wings, Old Chicago, are all great places to eat. They just are. But these are restaurants. I'm sorry that I do not hold to a level of moralism that says that I cannot even drive past these places. I ever never overindulged myself with alcohol in these or any other places "vile wickedness" which is less than what I can say about some with Sister MaryLous apple pie. Or is that okay to overindulge in? Let us reason together why my moderation of a drink is more sinful than other's lack of moderation in anger, or lust, or food. Please, I will sit and wait for a response.

But what you lacked was knowledge of my own convictions. What you didn't know was that I had already decided to not exercise my liberty for the sake of the church. Because they have adapted the typical Baptist church covenant, and I would do a dishonor to them and to the pastorate if I didn't lay my liberties while with them, I made it a point to give up something I believe in. This wasn't so that I would be living a double life. This was so that they wouldn't be hindered in growth in Christ. But what do I know, I'm just a very immature Calvinist right?

So, there were too many red flags for me to be comfortable. The former pastor was willing to speak with the church and let me know their desires; but even if I came, I wouldn't be effective. Their trust for me was gone even then. So I stepped away. I was not going to try to work in a replant situation where I was already going to be ineffective. I told the church this and they understood. Let me say this; I have no ill will to those at Antioch in Cassville. They were willing to hear me out and still potentially have me come. I fully understand their thoughts and they have been very kind and prayerful towards me. I pray for them often even still.

But, at midnight Friday morning I was jobless, soon to be homeless, and without any direction. 

And the support has flooded in. First Service Bank has given me another job temporarily that's for more money. I have several friends who have opened up their homes to me. My parents have been only supportive with the direction I'm heading. Pastors are listening to me and encouraging me to stick with it and keep going. I'm headed right now up to Northwest Arkansas to visit one of them now. 

God has kept me from what could've been a rough situation and richly provided for the moment. So for the first time, in a long time, I have no plan. I have no direction, no next step. What I do have is a wonderful group of friends and family who are coming beside me; supporting me and loving me. What I can say is this

I'm not going anywhere

The Goodness of God in My Singleness

It's an odd concept isn't it? Why would I think on the goodness of God in my singleness. That's hardly a good thought concept. Many times I wrestled with the idea of titling this post, The Sovereignty of God in My Singleness; and understand I do see His mighty hand working even on a daily basis. But we cannot stop at His reign over all things.

It would be a great title, a very Reformed title; but it isn't complete. You see it is one thing to be like Job and eventually bow out and say that God is God and I can't force His hand. It is an entirely different animal to say that "He does all that he pleases" (Ps 115:3) and that it is for my absolute and highest joy; that it is good for me, whatever He throws at me. This is where the rubber meets the road, where theology and worship collide. It is not at the point that I can see, defend, exegete, and believe in the total sovereignty of God that makes it good. Rather, it is at the point where that truth pushes me to worshiping the One who is totally sovereign.

And before I go any further I know full well that 2 of the 3 young women that I have dated since I graduated high school will probably read this. And can I say that I'm not writing this in anger or bitterness. I know that they love Christ just as much as I do. I know that they desire to follow Him just as much as I do. I'm not writing this to tear them down or guilt them in anyway. Both of these young women have my full respect. I have just come to full terms with the "why" I'm single, and God has used their decision-based on what I will assume is prayer- to point me to His good pleasure.

Since the end of my engagement in the early winter of 2010, God has been chipping away at the things of my heart that were killing growth into Biblical Manhood. In 2010, I can easily say that I was a little boy pretending to be a man; like the 4 year old who puts on his father's shoes, dress shirt, and tie; it just looked all sorts of sloppy and out of proportion. I was arrogant, bitter, relentless, immature, and selfish. I will own that. My pride has been killed enough to show the black marks on my resume without the fear of what anyone will think. God has used the ending of these three relationship, which meant a lot to me, for my good and holiness.

Here's what I mean. In my circle of close friends I am one of the few who is unmarried and totally single. It's me. Most of my friends have gotten married, and many in the next few years will be starting families of their own. I won't lie, it's very hard to be that guy. The guy who gets tables for one or splits the check awkwardly at a three or five person ticket. It sits on me very clearly that unless there is some sort of act of God on the heart of some semi-Presbyterian young woman, that I will leave CBC without getting married-are they even going to let me graduate like that? It's very difficult to lay in my bed by myself knowing how close I've come to having a wife. It's a struggle to sit in my quiet apartment and read or do homework or watch TV and just be ok. I've had many days where the majority of my text messages are from Twitter.

And I can finally say, I'm content with that.

Not happy, but certainly content.

See the lie that I and many people like me have been told is that "If I just get to the point where I'm ok with my being single, then God will bless me with the woman." It's pointless. I will never be ok with the fact that I'm single. I don't like it. I don't think it's sin for me to not like something. But I have found contentment. I see what God is doing in keeping me single.

I have been blessed with coming to point where I know how to steward my singleness. I'm not going to sit and just maintain it. What God has done by keeping me single is freed me to be able to make short and long term decisions about how and where I spend my time.

For instance, Thursdays are my only day off. After class, I'm done for the day. But that night i have the freedom to go to Recast and support my brothers as they bring the Word. If I wasn't single I wouldn't have that opportunity. I wouldn't get to pray for and over these men who I have come to know and love dearly. I wouldn't have the ability to stay out and talk with these guys, sometimes until three or four in the morning. I wouldn't trade a moment of marriage for missing these times. I wouldn't. I am free to be and bleed with my brothers for the eternal Kingdom; marriage will end soon enough.

I'm free to make long term ministry decisions that I would have only longed for at a distance. Though I can't give out all the details now I can say this: There is a need in many cities other than Conway to have Christ centered, culturally relevant churches that seek to equip their people and engage the lost where they're at, including my own hometown. If we neglect to go back to those places with the Gospel, we do not love them.  Six months ago I was headed to Kentucky to get my MDiv. Now I'm running headlong to a place where I'm unknown and known. I am free to make this decision because I'm not married. God has been good to keep me single and show me where He will eventually take me than for me to cling to safety and a wife at the same time.

Let me finish with this. I am content with my singleness and am dedicated to stewarding it as well as I can. But that does not mean that I am called to never get married. I want to, and I don't think it's sin for me to want to trade my single life for that of marriage. I feel as if God has kept me where I'm at for something so much better than what I can fathom. But what I know is that if that's in a life of singleness or bound to someone in marriage, God is good to bring me and sustain to this point, and I will trust Him to continue. Because the sovereignty and goodness of God are the most loving things for me, I will find my delight in Him above and beyond anything a wife or ministry can bring.

SDG

"If Anyone Loves Me, He Will Eat at Chic-fil-a" and other things Jesus never said

So right now, millions of Evangelicals are sitting down to a delicious meal of Chic-fil-a all in support of the owner's stance on the definition of marriage. This is something I think we need to really see for what it is so I'm going to simply call a spade a spade.

Millions upon millions of Evangelical Christians are, at this very eating their support of THE Christian fast food resturant. Simply because the owner openly announed his stance on gay marriage.

Am I the only one that sees how rediculous this is? Like we as the Church have to have our own thing in the culture that we can claim as "ours". We have Tebow, "our" NFL player. We have Lin "our" NBA from-out-of-nowhere star. We have our own fastfood joint, our own coffee shops, our own tv and radio stations; all because they agree with some of the same stuff we do. I could probably make an absolute fortune selling cola that tastes terrible but has John 7:37-38 on  the label.

At the same time, those millions of people are also closing down their Amazon accounts and vowing to never order from the site again because Amazon's CEO Jeff Bezos gave a substantial sum of money to a Washington state gay marriage law. Can I add here that Microsoft, Starbucks, and Nike all did the same thing? Are we now going to stop going to Starbucks?

My point is this, why, as Christians do we feel as if we have to have "our sub culture" and then everyone elses. Like if Tebow tears his ACL today and never plays another down, was that Satan thwarting evangelism in the NFL? Most people would be completely devestated.

Having our own subculture is about as detrimental to the Gospel as anything else. For us to say that we will eat Chic-fil-a or stop eating Oreos segregates us from the culture. It casues this wedge of seperation to form between us and the lost person-yes I know I'm throwing just homosexuality out. I'll get right back to that in one second.

Most of the people gorging themselves on a chicken sandwhich today probably think they're being good Christians, as if God is pleased that we're eating at His favorite resturant.

Jesus never said, "If you love me you'll eat at Chic-fil-a" and John never wrote, "They went out from us because they bought things at Amazon." We're are treating these things like they're absolute Scriptural. And when those who aren't believers see this they aren't thinking, "Man they're brave." or "How great is this Jesus that they worship."

What is God more pleased with: A sandwhich in the tummy or the Gospel being proclaimed to those who need it? You see there lies the problem with us all-myself included- is that we want to believe that supporting those in our Christian subculture pleases God. That God smiles on us and pours out blessings of Chic-fil-a sauce for us to enjoy. But sadly, we've focused more on where we will or will not spen our money than on Christ and His Kingdom this week. How ironic! In an effort to support a man who has Christian values we've made an idol out of his company.

And many of you all dismiss this idea and say, "But we're standing up for the sanctity of marriage. Cathy is profamily and promarriage." Fair enough. But to be pro something you must be anti something else. I'm not saying all Christians want to beat up homosexuals, I just think we've elevated it far and above every other sin.

There is no difference between the homosexual and the 17 year old Galilean with porn on his laptop. There is no difference than a homosexual and the girl who seeks her identity in a boyfriend. Yet no businesses are coming out in support or against these things. Why is that? Was Cathy really trying to speak his mind or could this be publicity?

But the more passionate we are the less we're reaching out to evagelise the homosexuals. We would rather argue all the way from the pulpit to the voting booth than spend thirty minutes eating Oreos with an athiest and her girlfriend.

What if, and follow closely here, we made our businesses and then sold to atheists at a lower price than normal. What if we followed fair business practices and treated the homosexual like they were valuable to our society and without the target on their backs. I'm not saying we don't call sin sin.

I'm just saying that our Christian subculture is killing our chances to evangelize and it's time which we care about more. The lost or the sandwhich.

SDG

My Response to Kelso: the Sovereignty of God and Abortion

 I know that many people clicked on this blog post mainly because it involves Kelso and me. I don't blame any of you for any remarks like: "Oh God, not again." or "Who's mad at who now?" These are all quite valid. So before I tell the story of where this post is coming from I do want to make a comment on mine and Preston's interesting relationship.

Preston and I have a very love-hate relationship; it may just depened on the time of the year. We're much like Wesley and Whitefield: two men who disagree on just about everything up for discussion in Christianity, but men who recognize each other as believers. We probably disagree on the very things Whitefield and Wesley disagreed on. And while we have both taken many chances to dig the other, I may at least say that I have learned a great deal of humility and respect for those who disagree with me because of my Free Will brother. There is not a person I would rather have a night of debate or discussion with than Preston; no one else would be able to lock horns with me as well as he can.

I believe that God has brought Preston into my life as a means of sanctification on two accounts: 1. To always force me to go back to the Scriptures when I am questioned with something. 2. To strip away the notion that I need all the answers and have them, that I must speak at every turn. So while we disagree on everything, God uses these discussions to drive me back to the question that changed my life in the Winter of 2010: What do you really believe about God, Jay? That was the question that changed everything for me. What do I really believe? Not because my parents believe it. Not because I was raised around such and such doctrine. But, with all these resources at my disposal, I am now free to think and believe on my own.

Now, let me come with the current. I was laid up sick yesterday with some kind of strep-throat but technically not strep-throat bull. So as Im suffering through my fever and thirst and inability to swallow painlessly, I woke up to a question with some qualifiers from Preston. They read as follows:

How does Reformed Theology address abortion?

What happens to the soul of a fetus?

Can a regenerate person have an abortion?

Why would God predestine something so tragic?

I asked if I could spend some time studying and praying and getting over my sickness before I answered him. I responded to him privately, but with his permission was able to post my response here as well for your benefit.

Preston,

From what I can tell you asked a question and then gave me three deeper questions to answer. So I'd like to start with question 2 then use my responses to answer question 1.

What happens to the soul of a fetus? Simply put, I'm not sure. What happens to the soul of anyone when they die?-because we would both say that a fetus is a person from conception- They go on to an eternal state be that Heaven if they are a believer or Hell if they are not. But the unborn are quite unique. They have had no time to hear the Gospel, no one can preach to them.

So what happens to them? I think the most common and perhaps absurd way we can answer that is to say anything like this: "Well, they haven't reached the age of accountability yet, so they just go to Heaven." Away with such a heresy. And yes this I will call heresy, because this denies that we are sinful from conception.

 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
  and in sin did my mother conceive me.
(Psalm 51:5 ESV)

I think this is the most clear verse in Scripture that throws out an age of accountability. It's like adding to the Gospel, Jesus or die and a really young age, both are ways to Heaven. I don't think this rides well with the Gospel.

What I do think there is room for is this: That the Spirit could breathe spiritual life in to (some or all I cannot say for certain) those infants who die prematurely if it's by abortion or by miscarriage or whatever. I pull that from this:

 In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.
(Luke 1:39-44 ESV)

Obviously neither infants were normal people, Jesus being the most unique; but surely John was like any normal person in that he too was sinful. But when Jesus arrives John leaps for joy. Was John regenerated in the womb? I think the text gives some weight for that and I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility. So to answer that out: I'm unsure, there's potential for some or all to be saved, but that's only that they come to faith in Jesus Christ by the regeneration of the Holy Spirit, not just because they are young. I think to say that there is an age of accountability is merely a way to make those who have lost children at a young age feel better, rather than to push them to trust in what God has decreed is for their good (Romans 8:28)

3. "Can a regenerate person have an abortion?"

This one confused me a bit which means I have to handle both potential questions. I'm not sure if you're asking "Is a Christian allowed to get an abortion" or "Is it possible for a Christian to get an abortion."

 First off, I think that just about anything is within the realm of potential, especially when dealing with people and sin. So is it possible for a Christian to get an abortion? Yes it is. In the same way it's possible for a believer to have sex outside of marriage. Sad as it is, I think it happens. We being weak sinful creatures are prone to fault. In the same way I believe David was a regenerated man, but yet he was responsible for the death of Bathsheba 's husband.

On the other hand if you are asking should a Christian have an abortion as birth control, then I would say absolutely not. It goes completely against what Scripture says about the Human life and how precious it really is.

This is something that I'm not sure how I would respond to this as a Pastor, hopefully that the Covenant Community would surround that person, and be preventive of it actually happening but then love them back into restoration if something were to occur. I could not ostracize them from the church community. That person needs tremendous amounts of grace not rejection.

Now after reading a couple of your recent posts I understand what you could also be asking is "Can a Christian support those who favor abortions in the political realm.?" I would say no, there is a strong disconnect there. But at the same time, I'm not easy to draw party lines at all. I don't think all Democrats smoke pot, kill babies, burn the Constitution, and enjoy gay marriage. That doesn't seem like a fair picture. It's the equivalent of saying all Republicans are rich, snooty, scotch sipping, oil drilling, gun shooting, gay bashing rednecks. It's the same stereotype. Im against stereotyping in the realm of politics.

4. "Why would God predestine something so tragic?"

 This is something I have wrestled with for a couple of years now. It was just recently that God gave me something that can satisfy my craving.

I don't know. I really don't have to know.

“The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.
(Deuteronomy 29:29 ESV)

God has not revealed to us why he has allowed abortion to continue. Sinful people follow their sinful desires, and they reap upon themselves destruction. But as for why a holy God has allowed for the destruction of unborn human life, I dare not speak what His unknown motives are.

But this I can say for sure

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.

(Colossians 1:15-16 ESV)

All things are created for the glorification of Christ. No matter what they are. I cannot say how abortion, as vile and tragic as it is brings glory to Jesus. But the Father has purposed that all things, through the cross or by Hell, bring glory to Jesus. I know this may seem like a cop-out, but I feel safer trusting God who is righteous than to come up with an answer on my own.

 So then, what is the Reformed position on abortion? Of course I am not the global spokesman for all the Reformers, but I can at least give you my position. Abortion is a vile and tragic sin. There is nothing good or pleasing to God in the act of killing an unborn child. But I believe that soon it will be eradicated, that is my prayer. And we will see, either later in life or in glory the purpose God had for allowing it to be.

Two quotes to sum that up

"...for the fetus, though enclosed in the womb of its mother, is already a human being, and it is almost a monstrous crime to rob it of the life which it has not yet begun to enjoy. If it seems more horrible to kill a man in his own house than in a field, because a man's house is his place of most secure refuge, it ought surely to be deemed more atrocious to destroy a fetus in the womb before it has come to light." Calvin

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
“For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?”
“Or who has given a gift to him
that he might be repaid?”
For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.
(Romans 11:33-36 ESV)