So this should have been said a long time ago; I guess I just want to let it go and keep it all bottled up inside. But the Theses was intended to be a place where I could unbottle everything, so I'll gladly let this all out.
And, this is NOT directed to married couples at all. This is strictly dating only. Just covering all my bases.
At the time of me writing this it's 8:30, February 13th. That means that in about three and a half hours it will be Valentine's Day. The one day a year where not only do I realize I'm getting older, but that couples are celebrating their love or their "love"-yes there is a difference and I'm going to explain it.
Because Tuesday is Valentine's Day there are going to be a lot of guys drooling all over themselves to make this one day absolutely perfect for a girl they've known for less than six months. And they're laying down everything possible just in the name of "love". Just because they're in a relationship , a guy is throwing this word love around and it makes me sick.
And I know, some of you are thinking one of two things.
Either
1. Jay is saying this because he wants to rain on the relationship couples parade, because he is single. And I'll dispell the idea. I would love to be in a relationship. I desire that, I want that. I don't have that right now. But even if I was (ask the people who know me quite well) I would still say all of this.
or you could be thinking
2. Jay is anti-romance. This is also not true. I think that relationships, provided they are healthy and God-centered are legit things. I'm not antidating at all. I've been in relationships, and have enjoyed several good relationships. So i'm not anti-dating, but I am anti-idolatry.
And I think that there are plenty of couples who have made their boyfriend/girlfriend thier functional Savior. Or just as bad, there are people who have made one person their sole identity. That they must be around that person. They must be with that person. And that's completely unhealthy. Or, just as bad, there are people who go through this destructive cycle of in and out of relationships and throwing all of their eggs into these relationship baskets. When they're in a relationship, they're two days from a wedding and when they're not in a relationship their world's caving in or their saying the same things to all different types of people as if to say, "Notice me! You define me! You give me worth!" and that happens over and over and over.
And the problem, and I've been saying this for over a year now, is that as guys, we are content with remaining Little Boys. We've placed a value on relationships, regardless of who the person is, and we've said anything in the name of "love", not because we actually care for that person but becasue we want our god. We "love" someone so that we can find our identity in them.
And don't think, Little Boy, that just because you're not a complete douche who never cheats that your doing these girls a favor; throwing around the word love like you can get it two for ten and at a dollar store. You don't know romance, you don't know Biblical pursuit. You're a coward, not a man.
And, what's worse is that many of us- I say that knowing that I'm just as guilty sometimes- call ourselves believers, but throw ourselves to the next possible relationship that comes along. You throw the word love around because you get all sorts of emotional when we're with someone, but have no idea what that word means, how to walk in that, and how to live that out.
And I don't know who the hell you think you are, spiritually and emotionally scarring a beautiful young woman. I don't know who you think you're impressing not even considering the eternal weight of what you're saying and doing; but I wish you would stop. Because regardless if you're a 16 year old in high school, a college freshman, a young man, a middle aged man, if you're not focused on Christ, if you're identity isn't found in Christ, you're killing young women.
And I say all of this knowing I fail everyday. I'm not perfect. I am prone to fall into the same traps I just railed against. But we were made for so much more than this. The women that we come into contact with deserve more than a cowardly little boy; and I fail at that. I have a long way to go too. But we cannot just throw ourselves to our idols of relationships and romance.
We cannot
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